PALO ALTO — By Ryan Gosling-To-Conclusions, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 20, 2026

BOCA CHICA, Texas — Legal proceedings hit new speeds today at the newly formed Starbase Municipal Court. During a routine hearing for an expired parking meter, the Honorable Judge, wearing a fully pressurized EVA space suit, grew tired of the defense’s argument. He calmly pressed a giant red button on his bench, instantly engaging thrusters under the witness stand and blasting the defendant through the retractable roof and into a stable orbit.

“We found that normal courts were too slow and stayed on the ground too much,” said Hans Olo, VP of Judicial Propulsion. “By adding rocket boosters to the legal process, we fix problems fast. Technically, the defendant is now classified as space debris, which falls under different laws, so the parking ticket is actually null and void. It is a win-win for efficiency.”

“The G-force usually gets them to admit guilt before they hit the clouds,” explained Court Clerk Sarah Connor, adjusting her oxygen tank. She noted that the docket is now completely empty. Outside the courthouse, local dad Mike Miller was seen frantically taping a ‘Paid’ receipt to his forehead so the patrolling police drones would not accidentally launch him during his morning jog.

At press time, the court announced a new plea bargain option that involves a one-way trip to Mars for anyone who forgets to use a turn signal.

Inspired by the real story: SpaceX is planning to add a dedicated court system to its company town in Texas to handle local legal matters. Read the full story.