SAN FRANCISCO — By Patricia Pending, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 19, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The tech world ground to a halt today. Two billionaire CEOs were seen standing five feet apart on a stage, arms stiff at their sides like action figures still in the packaging, while a photographer screams "JUST TOUCH FINGERS!" to complete the system update.

"The super-computer cannot turn on if the bosses do not complete the circuit," said Marcus Trent, VP of Synergistic Vibes. "We need a physical connection to sync the data, but they keep pulling away." The awkward standoff caused stock prices to plummet. One internet user correctly noted the high stakes, asking, "When AGI? The day Dario and Sam hold hands."

"We tried to force a handshake, but their elbows locked up," explained Sarah Voigt, Director of Executive Bonding. "It is a hardware issue. They are not compatible." The demo failed completely as the audience watched the two men stare at their shoes, terrified of accidental skin contact. A technician tried to manually move their arms, but the CEOs simply vibrated in place.

At press time, the board of directors announced a new strategy requiring the CEOs to share a single large sweater to improve data throughput.

Inspired by the real story: The CEOs of OpenAI and Anthropic awkwardly refused to hold hands during a photo shoot, sparking internet jokes about their rivalry. Read the full story.