SAN FRANCISCO — By Emily Patel, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 5, 2026

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — Junior Systems Administrator Kevin Miller was spotted floating outside a server rack in zero-gravity this morning, frantically hitting a frozen machine with a wrench. While drifting 250 miles above the planet, Miller remained on a mandatory Zoom call with HR regarding “improving workplace connectivity.”

“The cloud is literal now, so sometimes it gets wet and stops working,” said Marcus Thorne, VP of Orbital Logistics. “We tried remote restarting, but the latency was too high. We had to shoot Kevin up there in a capsule to perform a hard reset. It is a very standard ticket.”

“He needs to hold the power button for ten full seconds,” explained Sarah Jenkins, Director of Sky-High Solutions. “It is tricky in a bulky suit. Kevin is also upset because he forgot his security badge on his desk in Florida, so he cannot get back inside the capsule to use the bathroom. He has to wait for a manager to swipe him in.”

At press time, Miller was seen drifting away from the server while HR asked him to unmute his microphone to share a fun fact about himself.

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