SEATTLE — By Patricia Pending, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 19, 2026

CHICAGO, Illinois — The courtroom went silent. A federal judge in full robes sat at a high bench, putting on a jeweler’s loupe to inspect the breading on a buffalo wing, while the jury box was filled with chickens nodding in agreement. This was a very serious day for lunch menus everywhere.

“We have examined the meat structure,” said Judge Arthur Vandelay, adjusting his glasses. “This is clearly a nugget that went to private school.” The judge ruled that “boneless wings” are just nuggets with better marketing. He noted that any smart person should know chickens do not have boneless limbs, just like they know “unlimited data” actually has a limit.

“This is a big win for creative writing,” explained Marketing Director Lisa Li. She pointed to a large chart of sauce prices. “If you order a ‘boneless wing,’ you are ordering a vibe, not a body part. It is exactly like how we call customer support ‘Help Desks’ even though they do not help. Words are just suggestions now.”

At press time, the court ruled that peanut butter can legally be labeled as “Legume Smoothie.”

Inspired by the real story: A federal judge ruled that “boneless wings” are technically just nuggets and consumers shouldn’t expect actual wing meat. Read the full story.