SILICON VALLEY — By Patricia Pending, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 19, 2026

BOCA CHICA, Texas — The local judicial system got a major upgrade this morning. A judge wearing a space helmet banged a gavel that is actually a small model rocket, sentencing a resident to ’30 days in the centrifugal force trainer’ for parking violations. The court is the latest addition to the company town, which already runs its own police force.

“We needed a punishment that builds character and prepares citizens for Mars,” said Director of Civic Compliance Gary Thorne. “Paying a fine is easy. Surviving 9 Gs while rotating at high speeds really teaches you to respect the yellow curb.” Thorne noted that since the town already has a volunteer fire department, adding a court system that doubles as astronaut selection was the logical next step for efficiency.

“It is actually very fair,” explained VP of Human Resources Linda Chang. “The defendant has the right to remain silent, mostly because the G-forces press their lungs against their spine.” Residents have reportedly stopped contesting speeding tickets after one man was acquitted but had to spend three weeks in the zero-gravity simulation tank as court fees.

At press time, the Starbase Homeowners Association announced that noise complaints would now be resolved by ejecting offenders out of an airlock for a “brief timeout.”

Inspired by the real story: SpaceX is expanding its company town infrastructure by establishing its own municipal court system to handle local ordinances. Read the full story.