PALO ALTO — By Patricia Pending, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 19, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The future of Artificial General Intelligence hit a critical snag today as a line of tech executives awkwardly swayed and held hands like a kindergarten play, with a conspicuous 3-foot gap between the two most powerful AI CEOs who were staring intensely at the ceiling. The failure to execute the standard “Kumbaya” protocol left investors panicked about the industry’s ability to coordinate basic motor functions.

“The physical handshake API timed out due to high latency,” said Marcus Thorne, VP of Synergistic Touching. “We successfully deployed the swaying feature across 90% of the stage, but the hand-to-hand integration layer encountered unexpected friction between the two distinct operating systems.” One internet user noted the severity of the outage, commenting, “When AGI? The day Dario and Sam hold hands.”

“It is actually a safety feature, not a bug,” explained Linda Cross, Director of Optic Alignment. “If their palms touch without a 400-page safety constitution in place, the sheer compute power might overheat the auditorium. We are currently training a smaller, safer model to hold pinkies by Q3.” Spectators watched in confusion as the two men stood rigid, pretending the ceiling tiles were the most fascinating innovation of the decade.

At press time, the summit organizers attempted a group hug, but the CEOs required a six-month safety review before enabling eye contact.

Inspired by the real story: Sam Altman and Dario Amodei awkwardly stood with a gap between them while other leaders held hands at a government summit. Read the full story.