SEATTLE — By Daniel Park, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 12, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Local social media user Greg Miller was spotted Tuesday night sitting at a vintage typewriter by the light of a single candle, drafting a tear-stained love letter to a server rack named “Algo” in a desperate attempt to stop seeing engagement bait.

“We built this feature so users can finally plead their case directly to the machine,” said Marcus Thorne, VP of Emotional Retention. “Instead of just scrolling past angry strangers, you can now write a heartfelt essay explaining why you deserve to see a photo of your actual niece. The new ‘Dear Algo’ update lets you tell Threads exactly what you want, provided you ask nicely enough.”

Early testers report the AI requires significant emotional labor to be swayed. “I told the AI I missed my friends, but it just sent me three viral posts about hustle culture,” explained Beta Tester Linda Garcia, wiping her eyes. “It only listened after I promised to never look at another app again. Now I have to write a poem every morning just to avoid seeing posts about crypto scams.”

At press time, the algorithm responded to Miller’s letter by demanding a bouquet of roses and a monthly subscription fee before it would hide the political rage-bait.

Inspired by the real story: Threads is testing a feature that lets users write custom prompts to temporarily tune their feed’s algorithm. Read the full story.