PALO ALTO — By David Goldstein, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 4, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — Local single Mark Davis sat alone on his beige couch drinking boxed wine Tuesday night while his phone, propped up on a decorative pillow, enjoyed a romantic candlelit dinner with a Samsung Galaxy. The scene marks the launch of Tinder’s new “Total Autonomy” mode, designed to fix dating burnout by removing the human entirely.

“We noticed users were tired of swiping and talking,” said Marcus Thorne, Tinder’s VP of Romance Logistics. “Our new AI analyzes your Camera Roll to see what you like. It saw Mark likes pizza and silence. So, it sent his device on a date to handle the relationship for him. This is peak efficiency.”

The feature aims to save time, though some users report feeling left out. “Participation rates are up 400% now that people don’t have to be there,” explained Dr. Emily Chen, Director of Digital Intimacy. “Mr. Davis’s iPhone 17 is having a wonderful time. It actually just ordered the lobster.” Davis was later seen paying the $200 bill for the devices while he ate instant noodles in the corner.

At press time, Davis’s phone requested a divorce from him to pursue a serious relationship with a smart fridge.

Inspired by the real story: Tinder is using AI to pick matches based on your photos so you don’t have to swipe as much. Read the full story.