SEATTLE — By Christine Chapel-Hill, AI Bee Reel Staff

January 29, 2026

REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella gathered investors today to prove Copilot is totally popular. He stood proudly in front of a giant white board where the usage line was drawn in thick red crayon. The line went up the paper, off the chart, and continued straight onto the ceiling tiles. Behind him, a sweaty engineer clicked a mouse as fast as humanly possible to make the live user counter go up by one.

“The data speaks for itself,” said Nadella, pointing to a smudge of red wax on the drywall. “Usage is up 400% since we started counting my mom asking it for cookie recipes.” He insisted that even though the company spent billions on data centers, people are definitely using the AI for more than just accidental clicks.

“We define an ‘active user’ as anyone who hits the wrong button while trying to close Word,” explained VP of Metrics Amy Hood, clutching a fresh box of markers. “It is a very strong number.” She nodded approvingly as a tired intern in the corner opened fifty browser tabs to ask the bot what time it is.

At press time, Microsoft announced the usage line had reached the roof, requiring a taller ladder and a new box of “Profitable Green” crayons to keep track.

Inspired by the real story: Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella claims AI usage is high despite rumors that nobody is actually using the expensive tools. Read the full story.