“We call this ‘total orbital saturation,’” said Marcus Thorne, VP of Sky Real Estate. “Why look at a dead rock? You can look at high-speed data nodes.” The FCC recently approved 7,500 more Starlink satellites. This brings the Gen2 fleet to 15,000 units. Thorne noted the new density ensures no space is wasted on “empty void.”

“We are simply monetizing the horizon,” explained Lisa Nguyen, Director of Atmospheric Billing. “The stars are now premium content.” She noted that free users will see ads for car insurance. Families are already adapting. One father tried to point out the Big Dipper to his son. The satellites quickly rearranged to spell “DRINK PEPSI.”

At press time, the satellite constellation rearranged to block the sun for users who missed a payment.

Inspired by the real story: SpaceX received FCC approval to deploy up to 7,500 Starlink Gen2 satellites to provide gigabit-speed broadband. Read the full story.