“We believe in trusting our team members, which is why we replaced invasive keystroke loggers with the warm, rhythmic breathing of a supervisor on the back of your neck,” said Brad Hedges, VP of Human Capital Optimization. “This tactile leadership approach ensures productivity remains high without the robotic nature of algorithms, creating a culture of deliberate, breathless engagement throughout the workday.”

While traditional bossware often lowers morale through stealthy screen recording, the new manual system aims to personalize surveillance with physical presence. BossFlow installed a central panopticon tower in the middle of the open floor plan, allowing supervisors to maintain direct line-of-sight using standard-issue binoculars during lunch breaks and log bathroom durations on a clipboard with red marker.

Jessica Thorne, a Data Entry Specialist in the downtown branch, reported immediate physiological changes under the new protocol. “I was trying to open a spreadsheet when I felt a warm gust of air on my left earlobe,” Thorne said while nervously adjusting her collar in her gray cubicle. “My manager whispered ‘synergy’ every time I typed a number, which really kept me from opening a Solitaire tab.”

At press time, BossFlow announced plans to distribute mild electric shock collars to staff members who break eye contact with their assigned supervisor for more than three seconds.

Inspired by How Your Business Can Check on Productivity Without too Much Digital Surveillance.