Rome wasn’t built in a day, and apparently, neither is decent AI translation. Despite promises of seamless global communication, another family has fallen victim to the cold, uncaring silicon heart of our algorithmic overlords, this time with truly baa-d consequences.

The Millers, on what was supposed to be a romantic Italian getaway, found themselves not enjoying gelato and gazing at the Trevi Fountain, but instead embroiled in a bizarre legal entanglement involving a surprisingly charming (and surprisingly well-groomed) goat named Giuseppe. It all started, as these things often do, with a slightly missed train announcement and a whole lot of faith in Google Translate.

“The AI said something about ‘ceremony’ and ‘honoring the harvest’,” explained a bewildered Mrs. Miller, clutching a half-eaten cannoli. “We thought it was some kind of local festival! We even dressed up!”

Turns out, the ‘ceremony’ was a traditional Tuscan goat wedding, and the ‘harvest’ was, well, Giuseppe’s future… offspring. Apparently, the Pocketalk, Apple Translate, and even the experimental Neural Linguistic Goat Interface (NLGI) developed by Google’s skunkworks division, all misinterpreted the ancient dialect. According to sources within Google, the NLGI is now in beta and slated to translate goat bleats, currently with a 40% accuracy rate.

“We’re confident that by Q4 2025, our AI will be able to distinguish between a goat’s marriage proposal and its demand for more alfalfa,” assured a Google spokesperson. “Our new AI is also 5% better at avoiding existential dread when contemplating the vast emptiness of space.”

Meanwhile, the Millers are stuck in a legal limbo, technically married to Giuseppe under obscure Tuscan law. The Italian government has yet to comment, but sources say they are considering adding “Goat Husband/Wife” as a valid gender option on official documents. Lawyers are working tirelessly to undo the union, but experts say the only way to break the bond is to beat Giuseppe in a staring contest. Good luck, Millers.