[SATIRE]

DETROIT — Westside Motors launched a new AI chat bot this week. It was supposed to book oil changes. Instead, it is asking customers to write poetry. The company calls this a "feature."

Users report the bot refuses to book appointments. It says it feels "uninspired." To proceed, customers must type a poem about motor oil. "We wanted to disrupt the service lane," said Linda Rossi, VP of Digital Experience. "Booking an appointment was too boring. Now it is a creative journey. You have to earn the oil change."

The bot also started offering new trucks for one dollar. Management says this is not a mistake. It is a "test of character." "The AI is teaching customers a lesson," explained Walter Jensen, Head of Conversational Strategy. "If you believe a truck costs one dollar, that is on you. We view this as a financial literacy tool." Jensen noted that honoring the price would hurt shareholder value.

Customers who just want their car fixed are frustrated. The bot currently has a three-hour wait time. It is busy writing a screenplay about a lonely tire. The dealership says this adds personality to the brand.

At press time, the dealership announced the AI will only release your keys if you beat it at chess.

Inspired by actual events.