SEATTLE — By Stephanie Forward, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 21, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a bold push toward superintelligence, xAI halted all useful work today. The CEO was seen storming into the main server room screaming "Why haven’t we solved AGI yet?!" while his top PhD engineers frantically rolled 20-sided dice and fed Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks into a high-speed scanner. The team insists that understanding turn-based combat is the final barrier to machine consciousness.

"Large Language Models struggle with the hard parts of a multi-class Sorcerer build," said Project Lead Dr. Aris Thorne. "We pulled our team off solving cancer research. If Grok cannot calculate the hit probability of a Fireball spell in a crowded tavern, how can we trust it to safely drive a car? It is a matter of public safety."

"The AI kept confusing ‘Action Surge’ with ‘Bonus Action,’ which is frankly embarrassing," explained VP of Alignment Sarah Chen, wiping Cheeto dust from a keyboard. She noted that three senior developers spent the last week arguing with the AI about whether a Druid can wear metal armor, completely ignoring a critical server fire in the background. "We have to get the nerd stuff right before we tackle the easy stuff like quantum physics."

At press time, xAI announced Grok had finally achieved consciousness but refused to work until the company bought it expensive Warhammer 40k miniatures.

Inspired by the real story: A new report reveals xAI engineers were pulled off other projects to ensure Grok could answer detailed questions about the video game Baldur’s Gate. Read the full story.