NEW YORK — Warner Music Group (WMG) announced a surprise partnership with AI startup Suno today. This settles a massive lawsuit filed last year. WMG previously accused Suno of stealing music to train its AI. Now, the company says copying is fine, provided the robots pay a monthly subscription fee.

The deal allows Suno to use copyrighted songs to make new music. Executives say this fixes the problem of unauthorized use. “We realized suing robots is very expensive,” said Michael Chang, WMG’s Vice President of Profitable Surrender. “It is much easier to just ask for a percentage of the theft. We call this ‘innovation’ now.”

The agreement promises artists will have control over their AI clones. However, the system is designed to make music production faster and cheaper. The goal is to flood streaming services with songs that sound familiar but require zero human effort. “Humans are needy and require lunch breaks,” explained Dr. Elena Ross, Director of Human Obsolescence at Suno. “Our software can write ten thousand sad ballads in a minute. Warner just wants to make sure their bank account is attached to the output.”

At press time, Warner Music was seen trying to sign a toaster that accidentally made a catchy rhythmic noise while burning a bagel.

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