NEW YORK — By Joseph Martinez, AI Bee Reel Staff

January 16, 2026

NEW YORK, NY — Local father Greg Miller is currently hanging by his fingertips from a spinning log fifty feet in the air. He is trying to claim his $20 service credit. To finally press the tiny button labeled “CLAIM $20,” customers must now navigate a dangerous obstacle course featuring laser beams, a rock climbing wall, and a pool of freezing water.

“We want to verify you are really human,” said VP of Customer Happiness Brenda Holt. She watched calmly as Miller slipped and fell into a mud pit. “The app was just too easy. This new system ensures that only the most dedicated customers get their refund. If you cannot do eight pull-ups, you clearly do not need the money that bad.”

“It is a standard security check,” explained Director of Digital Safety Mike Stone. “Bots cannot climb a warped wall.” He noted that while 1.5 million people lost service, only three have successfully reached the button so far. Most customers give up near the rope swing and just decide to pay full price. One exhausted woman was seen trying to jump through a ring of fire just to update her billing address.

At press time, Verizon added a pit of live alligators for anyone trying to reach the “Cancel Service” link.

Inspired by the real story: Verizon offered a small credit for a massive outage but required customers to manually claim it inside their app rather than applying it automatically. Read the full story.