PALO ALTO — By Mike Rosoff, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 2, 2026

AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk stood on a shiny futuristic stage today to announce that production is finally starting. While he waved to the crowd, three sweaty interns were seen behind a curtain frantically hot-gluing a toaster to a plastic mannequin.

“We remain fully committed to high-speed manufacturing,” said Greg Stevens, VP of Future Stuff, as he handed a roll of duct tape to a weeping employee. “Production will be ‘agonizingly slow’ in 2026. This is mostly because the silver spray paint takes a long time to dry on the cardboard legs.”

“The technology is very advanced,” explained Sarah Miller, Director of Arts and Crafts. She watched an intern stick a Roomba to a broom handle. “We call this the Optimus Prime model. It cleans floors and falls over, just like a real person.”

At press time, Tesla paused the Cybercab assembly line because the design team ran out of glitter for the headlights.

Inspired by the real story: Elon Musk admitted that production for Tesla’s new robots and taxis will be very slow in 2026. Read the full story.