AUSTIN — By David Goldstein, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 4, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a bold move to modernize customer service, GlobalCorp CTO Mark Henderson was seen wearing a lab coat and pulling a giant lever to start a server rack held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and tangled extension cords. The massive machine, which emits a loud grinding noise, is now the primary tool for answering the question, “What time do you open?”

“This robust ‘Franken-stack’ ensures we use every single piece of junk software we bought in the last decade,” said Henderson, patting a server that was smoking slightly. “While early demos promised magic, the reality is that we need twelve different broken systems just to greet a customer. If one wire comes loose, the AI starts speaking Latin. That is a feature, not a bug.”

“It costs roughly fifty dollars in electricity to generate a single sentence,” explained CFO Marcus Thorne, watching a technician hit the mainframe with a wrench. “But it is worth it. I saw an employee stare at a spinning loading circle for three hours today instead of working. That is the kind of deep engagement our shareholders love to see.”

At press time, Henderson was seen adding a hamster wheel to the server rack to increase processing speed for the lunch rush.

Inspired by the real story: Companies are struggling because they built messy, complicated AI systems that break easily instead of working smoothly. Read the full story.