“Walking a dog wastes valuable user calories,” said Marcus Chen, VP of Human Optimization at TechFit. “Our suit handles the leg movement. It also holds the leash with a titanium grip. The user simply floats inside the chassis.” This follows a major trend at CES 2026. Big tech companies are pivoting to heavy machinery because they ran out of ideas for smart rings.

“It really streamlines the bonding process,” explained Thorne inside his helmet. He tried to scratch his nose with a robotic claw. He accidentally sheared off a stop sign instead. “I don’t even have to look at the dog. The heads-up display shows a live graph of his happiness.” Neighbors say the suit requires a dedicated parking spot. It also needs three gallons of diesel just to reach the fire hydrant.

At press time, Thorne engaged the suit’s “Siege Mode” to help his daughter tie her shoes.

Inspired by the real story: CES 2026 featured a surplus of exoskeletons and smart rings as companies struggled to innovate new form factors. Read the full story.