SILICON VALLEY — By Daniel Park, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 12, 2026

BOCA CHICA, Texas — In a move analysts call “bold” and physicists call “a cartoon,” Elon Musk unveiled his new lunar strategy today. Standing before a whiteboard, the billionaire sketched a massive wooden “Y” shape with a rubber band, while NASA engineers in the back row slowly put their heads in their hands. The presentation outlined a plan to stop using expensive fuel and start using giant elastic bands.

“Gravity is just a suggestion if you pull the rubber back far enough,” said Lead Project Manager Kevin Strong. “Building a factory on the moon to catapult satellites creates a vertically integrated supply chain. We just need to make sure the moon dust doesn’t dry out the elastic.” Musk reportedly told staff that the low gravity means a simple “flick” could send data centers into orbit.

“The initial tests involving a cliff and an anvil were promising,” explained Director of Logistics Sarah Blam, holding a heavy crate marked ‘ACME’. “We realized rockets are too complicated. A big stick and a stretchy rope are the future of space travel. If the catapult breaks, we fix it with duct tape.” She noted that the lack of atmosphere makes it perfect for oversized slingshots usually seen on Saturday mornings.

At press time, SpaceX stock jumped 4% after Musk announced a partnership with a coyote to paint fake tunnels on crater walls to trick competitors.

Inspired by the real story: Elon Musk told employees he wants to build a moon base that shoots satellites into space using a giant catapult. Read the full story.