SAN FRANCISCO — After X-energy raised $700 million to bring nuclear energy to data centers, a local tech firm has become the first to install a personal small modular reactor just to power a single, extremely long AI request.

The startup claimed the standard city power grid was insufficient for their prompt, which asked ChatGPT to rewrite the entire U.S. tax code as a series of engaging LinkedIn posts. “We tried plugging into the wall, but the lights in the neighborhood dimmed every time we hit enter,” said Kevin O’Connor, Vice President of Power Cord Management. “To get a response that doesn’t sound like a robot having a panic attack, you really need the raw power of splitting atoms right next to the server room.”

The reactor now sits in the open-plan office, replacing the ping pong table and the kombucha tap. While the machinery emits a soft hum that drowns out typing, employees must now wear lead vests to attend the morning stand-up meeting. “People think nuclear power is extreme for a chatbot,” noted Dr. Lisa Vane, Director of Thermal Runaway Excuses. “But if you want the AI to write a marketing email without using the word ‘delve,’ you simply need the energy output of a naval destroyer. It is basic math.”

At press time, the reactor had reached critical mass just as the AI finally responded with, “I’m sorry, but as an AI language model, I cannot fulfill that request.”

Inspired by actual events.