SAN FRANCISCO — San Francisco retailer Central Computers has officially replaced price tags on memory sticks with "Market Price" listings, forcing desperate PC builders to order hardware like lobster at a high-end seafood restaurant. The move comes as supply shortages turn standard 32GB kits into luxury items subject to daily fluctuation.

The store has removed static pricing entirely, requiring customers to ask a "hardware sommelier" for the current rate of DDR5 memory. Shoppers report seeing prices jump between the time they pick up the box and reach the register. "We treat every stick of RAM like a delicate catch-of-the-day," said Marcus Thorne, Director of Volatile Pricing Experience. "If you have to ask how much the 64GB kit costs, you probably can’t afford to run Google Chrome with more than three tabs open."

The shortage has become so severe that local data centers are sending interns to wait by the loading dock with bibs and forks. Industry analysts warn that as AI models grow larger, they are developing a taste for "fresh" memory that hasn’t been frozen in a warehouse. "Your average AI chatbot is a voracious eater," explained Dr. Elena Rostova, Vice President of Digital Gluttony. "It refuses to make up answers on anything less than premium, free-range silicon sold at peak market rates."

At press time, Central Computers had installed a tank of live RAM sticks in the lobby, allowing customers to point at the specific unit they wanted to take home and install in their gaming rig.

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