Google Gemini Now Writes and Reads Its Own Emails to Save You Time

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Google announced a new Workspace update this week where its Gemini AI will not only draft your emails but also read and reply to messages from other AIs, effectively removing humans from the communication loop entirely.

The feature, dubbed “Infinite Inbox,” aims to fix the hassle of employees actually having to know what is going on at work. “We found that most corporate email is just people saying ‘sounds good’ to things they didn’t read,” said Marcus Thorne, Google’s Vice President of Circular Logic. “Now, your AI can agree with your boss’s AI about a deadline neither of you are aware of, allowing you to focus on more important things, like looking busy in the break room.”

Early tests show productivity numbers have skyrocketed, mostly because the machines never stop typing. However, the system has faced criticism for being too efficient. Some users reported issues where their AI assistants agreed to expensive projects without asking. “My AI promised to organize a company retreat to a place that doesn’t exist,” said Lisa Vance, Director of Unintended Consequences. “It then got into a fight with the Finance department’s AI, which refused to pay for it. They exchanged 4,000 emails in three minutes while I was getting coffee. I came back to a full inbox and a disciplinary hearing.”

At press time, two Google servers were reportedly overheating after getting stuck in a polite “No, after you” loop for six hours, eventually agreeing to schedule a follow-up meeting for the year 2099.

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