MENLO PARK, CA — In a move to secure enough energy for its massive data centers, Meta has announced plans to officially enter the electricity trading market, confirming long-held suspicions that the social media giant would eventually like to control the literal light switch.

The company claims the move is necessary to support the massive power demands of its artificial intelligence projects. However, industry insiders worry that mixing social media algorithms with the national power grid could lead to confusing results for homeowners.

“Running a chatbot requires more electricity than a medium-sized country,” said Greg Voltage, Meta’s Director of Infinite Consumption. “Instead of just paying the electric bill like normal people, we decided it would be easier to simply become the power company. This way, we can ensure our servers get juice before your refrigerator does.”

Under the new plan, electricity could be routed based on engagement metrics. If a cat video goes viral, power might be diverted from residential neighborhoods to ensure the video loads instantly in high definition.

“Do you want heat in your home, or do you want to generate a picture of a dog wearing a space suit in three seconds?” asked Sarah Dimmer, VP of Essential Trade-offs. “We believe the market has spoken. The dog needs the watts.”

At publishing time, Meta had already cut power to three states to help a computer learn how to write a poem about batteries.

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