“When you hit $75 billion, you don’t apply for a banking license anymore. You apply for a seat at the United Nations,” said Marcus Sterling, Revolut’s newly appointed King of Compliance. “We realized that becoming a country is actually the most efficient way to avoid international transfer fees. Now, when you send money, you aren’t wiring cash; you’re conducting foreign aid.”

The company says the transition will be seamless for users. Instead of updating the app, customers will now be required to pledge allegiance to the Terms of Service. The popular “Metal” card will double as a diplomatic passport, allowing users to skip airport security lines, provided they maintain a minimum balance.

“We looked at the charts, and frankly, we are too big to be regulated by mere governments,” said Sarah Cash, Revolut’s Vice President of Border Control. “Why deal with red tape when we can just declare our headquarters a demilitarized zone?”

At publishing time, Revolut had announced a new premium subscription tier that includes full diplomatic immunity for parking tickets.

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