[SATIRE]

WALLDORF — SAP confirmed a strange problem this week. Their new AI tool works too well. Internal tests showed it scored 95% on business tasks. But consultants hated it.

The issue was not quality. It was feelings. Consultants rated the AI work lower when they knew a computer did it. They preferred work done by humans. Even when the humans were wrong.

“A spreadsheet without errors feels cold,” said Walter Tanaka, VP of Human-Centric Synergy. “When I see a calculation that is off by 10%, I feel a connection. I know a tired junior analyst made that. That is the premium experience clients pay for. Accuracy is actually quite alienating.”

To fix this, SAP is reportedly testing a new update. It is called “Authentic Flaws.” The AI will now randomly delete data. It will also use the wrong font size on slide 14. This ensures the work feels organic.

“We programmed the AI to misunderstand the assignment 20% of the time,” explained Chloe Mwangi, Director of Client Trust. “It mimics the real workflow. Now, the senior consultants have something to fix. If the work is perfect instantly, how do we justify the billing hours? The client expects a journey. Perfection is a destination we try to avoid reaching too quickly.”

At press time, SAP announced a “C-Suite” mode. The AI ignores all data and makes a decision based on what it read on LinkedIn.

Inspired by The AI that scored 95% — until consultants learned it was AI.