[SATIRE]

SEOUL — Samsung unveiled the Galaxy Z TriFold this week. It is a phone that turns into a tablet. It costs about $3,000. It folds twice, which is exactly two more times than a normal phone needs to fold.

The company says the high price pays for the extra hinge. “We heard customers wanted more creases,” said Linda Petrov, VP of Visual Experience. “One crease down the middle was a good start. But two creases really break up the content. It reminds you that you are looking at a screen. We call that ‘Digital Mindfulness.'”

The device is a marvel of engineering. It is also terrifying to hold. Reviewers say opening it feels like handling a newborn baby made of glass. Samsung insists this fragility is a feature. “The fear keeps you present,” explained Diego Vargas, Director of Premium Strategy. “You do not doomscroll on a $3,000 device. You tap gently and pray. That level of focus is worth the money.”

Vargas noted that the hinges are rated for 200,000 folds. However, the warranty does not cover “aggressive looking” or “firm gripping.” The phone comes with a polishing cloth. It does not come with a case. Samsung says a case would ruin the aesthetic of the danger.

At press time, Samsung announced the Galaxy QuadFold. It folds four times and requires a notary to open.

Inspired by Samsung reveals Galaxy Z TriFold with 10-inch foldable screen, astronomical price.