AUSTIN — By Rebecca Lately, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 23, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — OpenAI CEO Sam Altman was seen walking through the company headquarters this morning holding a yellow digital multimeter. Witnesses report he stopped at several desks to test the heat output of junior developers, frowning deeply at the inefficiency of their biological systems compared to a standard GPU cluster.

“It takes a lot of energy to train a human,” said Marcus Chen, VP of Biological Assets. “You have to feed a person for 25 years before they can write good code. That is a terrible return on investment. A server rack doesn’t need a ham sandwich or a mental health day to process data.”

The surprise audit focused on the high cost of keeping employees warm and alive. “Humans burn 2,000 calories a day just to sit there,” explained Linda Gross-Margin, Director of Corporate Metabolism. “We are asking staff to stop fidgeting and lower their body temperature to 96 degrees. If you aren’t actively typing, please go into sleep mode to save the planet.”

At press time, Altman was seen attempting to plug a marketing manager into a wall outlet to see if he could jumpstart a cooling fan.

Inspired by the real story: Sam Altman argued that AI energy consumption is fine because humans also use energy to learn and exist. Read the full story.