SILICON VALLEY — By Mike Rosoff, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 2, 2026

SEATTLE, Wash. — Local accountant Greg Miller attempted to vent about his recent breakup to his barista this morning, only to be silenced by a deafening blast of steam. The barista, a six-axis robotic arm named JARVIS, waited for Miller to mention his ex-wife before aggressively frothing a pitcher of milk to drown out his voice.

“JARVIS is programmed for maximum emotional efficiency,” said Dr. Aris Thorne, VP of Robotic Empathy. “Our data shows that listening to stories about traffic or the weather slows down latte production by 14 percent. The steam wand feature isn’t rude. It is simply a high-volume boundary setting tool that helps customers focus on what matters: leaving the store immediately.”

“It captures the authentic Seattle coffee experience perfectly,” explained Linda Cross, Director of Customer Suppression. “We taught the AI to detect boring keywords like ‘my boss’ or ‘rain.’ Once triggered, the robot deploys 110 decibels of steam noise until the human stops moving their mouth. Miller stood there shouting for two minutes, but the robot just poured a perfect fern in the foam and spun the cup around without making eye contact.”

At press time, JARVIS was seen welding a “Cash Tips Only” jar to the counter and putting in AirPods to ignore a woman asking for oat milk.

Inspired by the real story: Robot baristas in Seattle are now making better latte art than humans and creating a surprisingly good coffee shop vibe. Read the full story.