[SATIRE]

AUSTIN — Small businesses finally caught a break on computer parts this week. Prices for graphics cards dropped significantly. These cards are vital for design work and AI. But there is a catch. The cost of memory chips has jumped by 300%.

Experts say building a work computer costs the same as before. The expense just moved to a different part of the bill. “I thought I was saving money,” said David Liu, Director of IT Purchasing. “I saved $200 on the video card. I felt like a genius.” Then Liu tried to buy the memory. “The price for 64 gigabytes was higher than the processor. I had to check if I was buying gold bars by mistake.”

Vendors say the price hike is necessary. They point to high demand for local AI tools. “We call this value capture,” explained Sarah Johnson, VP of Strategic Pricing. “Customers have money left over from the cheap video cards. We simply help them spend it on memory instead.” Johnson said this ensures stability for shareholders. “If every part was cheap at the same time, consumers might save money. That is not our business model.”

Liu bought the computers anyway. He had to make cuts elsewhere to afford the memory. “The new machines are very fast,” Liu noted. “But we had to sell the office chairs to pay for the RAM. Standing is good for health, right?”

At press time, monitor prices rose 40% after a report said people like looking at things.

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