[SATIRE]

CARLSTADT, N.J. — Pantone revealed its 2026 Color of the Year on Thursday. It is called “Cloud Dancer.” Most people call it “white.” The company says the shade offers “clarity.” Critics say it looks like a surrender flag.

“We looked at the global mood,” said Linda Wu, VP of Color Strategy. “We saw exhaustion. We saw empty bank accounts. We realized the most relevant color right now is the color of a blank spreadsheet.” Wu denied that the choice was made to save money on ink. She insisted that Cloud Dancer is a bold choice. “It represents the empty space where a holiday bonus used to be,” she noted. “That is a very powerful concept for the modern worker.”

Corporations are already embracing the trend. One tech firm updated its branding to Cloud Dancer yesterday. They simply deleted their logo files. “It feels very authentic to our current financial state,” explained Frank Petrov, Director of Visual Austerity. “Bright colors suggest hope or growth. We did not want to confuse our shareholders. Cloud Dancer says ‘we are keeping the lights on, but just barely.'”

Petrov added that the color pairs perfectly with fluorescent lighting and the sound of silence in an open office. He noted it is also the exact shade of a severance package envelope.

At press time, Pantone announced a limited edition Cloud Dancer swatch card. It is a plain index card. They are charging $75 for it.

Inspired by Pantone’s ‘Cloud Dancer’ color party is a recession indicator.