MEMPHIS — xAI unveiled its new solar farm on Tuesday. The panels sit next to the massive Colossus data center. The company says this proves their love for the planet.

Engineers admit the scale is slightly off. The data center uses as much power as a small city. The solar farm produces enough energy to run a toaster. “This array is huge,” said Walter Rossi, VP of Sustainable Optics. “On a sunny day, it generates enough power to run the ‘thinking’ animation for twelve minutes. That is twelve minutes of guilt-free AI.”

The other 23 hours and 48 minutes come from the city grid. Local residents say their lights dim when the AI writes a poem. The company insists this is normal. They claim the solar panels are more about the “vibe” of energy than actual electricity.

“We call this a hybrid approach,” explained Dmitri Jensen, Head of Energy Reality. “The sun handles the easy stuff. Like when the AI is asleep. The local power plant handles the hard stuff. Like math. We view the sun as a junior partner in this relationship. The coal plant down the road is the senior partner.” Jensen noted that clouds are a “legacy issue” they hope to fix with a software update.

At press time, xAI installed a wind turbine. It now powers the red LED light on the office coffee machine.

Inspired by actual events.