New $54M Brain Headband Ruining Dates By Loudly Announcing Pizza Cravings

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The Italian restaurant smelled like garlic and expensive cologne. Arthur Pendelton sat at table four, sweating through his dress shirt. On his forehead sat a thick, black plastic band blinking with angry red lights. He nodded politely as his date talked about her cat’s complicated allergies. The mood was serious. The appetizers were late. The headband was humming loudly enough to vibrate the water glasses.

By the real story: Zomato’s co-founder has raised millions for ‘Temple, AI Bee Reel Staff

Suddenly, the device emitted a sharp mechanical chirp. A robotic voice announced to the entire room, "ATTENTION: DOPAMINE LEVELS CRITICAL. SUBJECT IS CURRENTLY VISUALIZING PEPPERONI." Arthur tried to cover the speaker with a breadstick, but the damage was done. The device continued to broadcast his subconscious, noting that he was also wondering if the valet stole his gum. His date stopped chewing mid-sentence. The waiter slowly backed away into the kitchen.

"Transparency is the future of romance," said Chloe Vanhouten, a Relationship Optimization Specialist adjusting her own glowing neural headset at the bar. "Zomato founder Deepinder Goyal just raised $54 million for his startup ‘Temple’ to monitor wellness like this. Sure, it kills the mystery, but at least you know if he’s actually listening or just mentally playing Tetris. It’s mostly Tetris."

Arthur smiled weakly as the headband loudly declared he was now calculating how to split the bill based on appetizer consumption.

Inspired by the real story: Zomato’s co-founder has raised millions for ‘Temple,’ a new startup focused on wearable technology that monitors brain activity and wellness. Read the full story.

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