[SATIRE]

CUPERTINO — A crisis hit the tech world this week. A company called KTC released a new 27-inch monitor. It has 5K resolution. It has a metal stand. But it costs only $535. This is a problem.

The monitor has nearly the same specs as the Apple Studio Display. That screen costs $1,599. Industry experts are confused. They say KTC forgot to add the standard $1,000 markup for the logo on the back.

“We made a terrible mistake,” admitted Kevin Gupta, CEO of KTC. “We calculated the cost of the glass. We added the cost of the metal. Then we just… sold it. We completely forgot to add the ‘Cool Tax.’ Usually, you take the manufacturing cost and triple it. We are new to this.”

Competitors were quick to criticize the low price. They argue that creative professionals need to pay more. The high price proves they are successful. If a monitor is affordable, how do you know it is good?

“We sell a feeling, not a screen,” explained Chloe Dubois, VP of Brand Prestige at a major tech firm. “When a customer pays $1,600 for a $500 panel, they feel elite. They feel like a ‘Pro.’ This cheap monitor robs users of that special pain. It is disrespectful to their bank accounts.”

Dubois noted that the extra $1,000 pays for essential features. These include the white box it comes in and the smug feeling of ownership. “You cannot put a price on looking down on PC users,” she added. “Well, actually you can. It is exactly $1,064.”

At press time, KTC announced a fix. They will release a “Pro” edition next week. It is the exact same monitor, but it comes with a heavy rock you can put on your desk. The bundle will cost $1,499.

Inspired by actual events.