SILICON VALLEY — By Justin Case, AI Bee Reel Staff

January 26, 2026

PORTLAND, Ore. — Local accountant Greg Tunderson spent last night lying perfectly still in bed, eyes wide open, terrified to move a single muscle because his new Sleep-O-Matic 5000 might interpret a twitch as "poor sleep quality." Tunderson reportedly held his breath for forty minutes to keep his heart rate graph flat, creating a self-fulfilling cycle of pure insomnia.

"The wearable market was worth $5 billion in 2023, so we know people love data more than rest," said Linda Wriston, VP of User Anxiety. "If Greg scratches his nose, his sleep score drops to a C-minus. He knows the rules. He must lie like a corpse to win the game. Actual sleep is messy, but our data is clean."

"It is about discipline," explained Dr. Rem, Director of Biosensors. "Greg is exhausted, hallucinating, and crying silently, but his watch says his ‘Stillness Metric’ is 99%. That is a perfect night of sleep according to our app. His actual feelings are irrelevant to the algorithm."

At press time, Tunderson’s watch shocked his wrist to alert him that his stress levels were too high for a restful nap.

Inspired by the real story: Sleep trackers can cause anxiety about sleep data, ironically hurting sleep quality. Read the full story.