"We realized the biggest barrier to health was the ability to relax," said Marcus Chen, VP of Product at OmniHealth. "Traditional fitness trackers just vibrate gently. Our new ‘Spine-Correction-3000’ uses mild blunt force trauma to ensure users remain in a state of high-alert, even during leisure time." Chen noted that since most major tech companies effectively ran out of new ideas two years ago, adding physical punishment was the only logical innovation left for the wearable market.

"The ecosystem is fully integrated for maximum judgment," explained Director of Sales Sarah Kim. "If the smart belt detects abdominal expansion suggesting a deep breath, it signals the rings to shock the fingers." Witnesses watched as Miller attempted to reach for a remote control, only for his exoskeleton to lock his arm in place because his heart rate wasn’t in the "fat burn zone." Miller nodded confidently while gasping for air, confirming that despite the bruising, his posture score was an all-time high of 98.

At press time, the exoskeleton began slapping Miller repeatedly for "unauthorized slouching" after he passed out from exhaustion.

Inspired by the real story: CES 2026 featured a flood of smart rings and exoskeletons as companies struggle to find new fitness innovations. Read the full story.