“We successfully fit a tiny computer inside the classic brick, but the user experience felt incomplete,” said Head of Innovation Morten Brickensen. “We realized the only thing missing from the visceral, sharp pain of stepping on a Lego at 2 AM was a mandatory Bluetooth pairing request and a thirty-minute security patch download before you can limp away.”

Kevin Tredder, a night shift nurse, discovered the feature while navigating his living room carpet. After stepping on a rogue Star Wars tile, Tredder was forced to hop frantically on one leg for twenty minutes while the brick pulsed warm against his skin and refused to detach until he entered a six-digit verification code sent to his email.

At press time, Lego announced that separating two flat plates will now require two-factor authentication and a monthly “Brick+” subscription renewal.

Inspired by Lego announces Smart Brick, the ‘most significant evolution’ in 50 years.