AUSTIN — By Patricia Pending, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 19, 2026

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — Junior Sysadmin Dave Miller let out a long, heavy sigh today as he zipped up his pressure suit and grabbed a hefty wrench. He was preparing for his Tuesday morning commute to Low Earth Orbit just to manually restart a server that crashed after a routine update.

“Remote desktop tools lack the personal touch of a gloved hand hitting a reset button in a vacuum,” said Marcus Thorne, VP of Orbital Logistics. This new workflow follows the real announcement that SpaceX and xAI will merge to launch a constellation of one million satellite data centers. “Sending Dave up on a rocket is actually faster than waiting for Tier 2 support to answer a ticket.”

The program puts computers in space to keep them cool, but the staffing logistics are tricky. “It is very efficient,” explained Linda Styles, Director of Human Resources, while watching telemetry on a screen. “Although, Dave forgot his keycard last week and had to float outside the airlock for forty minutes.” She noted that employees are still expected to answer Slack messages during the fiery reentry process.

At press time, Dave had successfully rebooted the server, only to realize he brought a flathead screwdriver instead of a Phillips for the drive bay.

Inspired by the real story: Elon Musk plans to merge companies and launch massive AI computers into space, which experts warn could damage the atmosphere. Read the full story.