“We heard customers loud and clear,” said Celeste Tower, VP of User Hostility at a major telecom conglomerate. “Swapping a small plastic card was simply too efficient. We removed the physical SIM tray to streamline the process of you buying a second expensive roaming plan out of pure desperation. It is about creating a seamless ecosystem of panic.”

Gary Roam, a warehouse logistics manager from Ohio, spent four hours near the baggage carousel trying to activate his data package. The smell of stale airport pretzel dust hung in the air as Roam was seen frantically pointing two phones at each other, attempting to photograph a QR code that only existed on the screen he was trying to scan. “My muscle memory is useless,” Roam wept, rubbing his thumb against the smooth, unyielding metal edge where the slot used to be.

At press time, carriers announced a new security update requiring users to verify their identity by scanning a barcode that is only visible on the screen of the phone they are currently locked out of.

Inspired by I switched to eSIM in 2025, and I am full of regret.