[SATIRE]

By Chip Banks, AI Bee Reel Staff

San Francisco — Framework updated its component shop today. The electronics retailer has effectively pivoted to fine dining. A tuxedo-clad waiter approached the Genius Bar carrying a silver platter. He lifted a domed lid to reveal a single stick of DDR5. “The market price is… aggressive tonight, sir,” he whispered to a customer.

“Supply chains are art,” said Framework VP Silicon Burns. He checked a ticker tape machine running across his desk. “We are not raising prices arbitrarily. We are adjusting sticker costs every 14 seconds based on the current mood of a specific miner in Taiwan. If he stubs his toe, your checkout total increases by forty percent. It creates excitement.”

Timmy Turner, a budget PC builder, attempted to purchase 16GB. The transaction stopped when the cashier pulled out a jeweler’s loupe. The employee put on white cotton gloves and weighed the module on a diamond scale. “We sell by the milligram now,” the clerk said. Timmy eventually lost the stick to a hedge fund manager during a live auction at the register.

At press time, Framework announced that 64GB kits will now only be exchanged for deeds to mid-sized islands.

Inspired by Framework announces another memory price hike — and it likely won’t be its last.