AUSTIN — By Joseph Martinez, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 16, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Two tech founders accidentally secured a $4 billion valuation today after walking into a pitch meeting and sneezing. As the founders reached for a tissue, venture capitalists immediately began throwing heavy duffel bags filled with cash at their heads, claiming the sneeze sounded “disruptive” and “scalable.”

“The acoustic profile of that sneeze indicated high-growth potential,” said Marcus Sterling, Managing Partner at Sequoia-Andreesen. “Most founders just cough, which is bearish. But a wet, loud sneeze? That shows they are famed experts ready to infect the market.” He noted the startup, Ricursive Intelligence, has not built a product yet, but the founders used to work at Google, so their biological functions are worth billions.

“We tried to ask for a napkin, but investors kept shoving equity agreements into our pockets,” explained Co-Founder Liam Zhang, shaking confetti out of his hair. “I tried to say ‘excuse me,’ and three different firms interpreted it as a new coding language that solves latency.” Witnesses reported seeing other founders in the lobby frantically trying to induce hay fever to attract funding.

At press time, the founders hiccuped, causing the valuation to immediately double to $8 billion.

Inspired by the real story: A new startup raised huge money instantly just because the founders are famous AI experts. Read the full story.