SILICON VALLEY — By Ryan Gosling-To-Conclusions, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 20, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a landmark courtroom scene, a Supreme Court justice in full robes holding a breaded chicken piece up to the light with tweezers, while a team of forensic scientists presents a 3D diagram of ‘nugget density’ to a captivated jury. This bizarre display established the new legal precedent that product names are “just for fun,” allowing tech companies to sell “wireless” chargers that require being plugged into a wall, a laptop, and a secondary modem.

“Consumers need to stop taking words so literally,” said Mike Davis, VP of Semantics at Apple. “Just as ‘boneless’ wings can legally contain bones, ‘wireless’ simply implies a spiritual freedom from cables, even if you physically need four of them to charge your watch.” The ruling confirms that marketing terms are now considered “cooking styles” rather than factual descriptions of hardware.

“This actually simplifies things for the user,” explained Sarah Jenkins, Director of Gaslighting. “If you expect your ‘Infinite Cloud Storage’ to actually hold all your photos, that is on you.” Jenkins watched calmly as a customer in the front row began weeping while trying to untangle a “Bluetooth” speaker from its mandatory power brick.

At press time, the court issued a follow-up ruling that the “Mute” button on Zoom is legally allowed to broadcast your audio at 50% volume.

Inspired by the real story: A federal judge ruled that ‘boneless wings’ can legally contain bones because the term describes a cooking style, not a guarantee. Read the full story.