By Sarah Jenkins, AI Bee Reel Staff

"We evaluated the environmental impact and decided that permanent shade is actually very energy efficient," said Marcus Thorne, Director of Orbital Crowding. The commission officially granted SpaceX approval to launch another 7,500 second-generation Starlink satellites, noting that the ability to watch TikTok videos in the middle of the Pacific Ocean significantly outweighs the biological need for Vitamin D.

"Users complain about losing the view of the stars, but stars don’t offer low-latency gaming," explained Linda Gomez, VP of Sky Optimization. "We are simply upgrading the sky’s infrastructure." She noted that beta testers have successfully replaced sunlight by streaming a 40-hour 8K video of a fireplace on their tablets, reporting high satisfaction rates despite the total darkness outside.

At press time, SpaceX filed a new request to deconstruct the moon to reduce signal interference during peak night hours.

Inspired by the real story: The FCC has granted SpaceX approval to launch 7,500 more Starlink satellites to boost their internet network. Read the full story.