[SATIRE]

By Mark Trademan, AI Bee Reel Staff

Burbank — Disney Legal stormed Google HQ today. A team of lawyers in pinstripes measured the roundness of a generated mouse’s ears with digital calipers. A nearby server rack sweated as the legal team held up color swatches to prove that specific shade of orange belongs to Goofy. The lawsuit alleges Gemini used unauthorized pixels to recreate the Magic Kingdom’s intellectual property.

“We believe in the power of AI,” said Disney Chief Legal Officer Bob Sharkey. “Provided that AI understands that any rodent wearing pants owes us royalties.” He paused to issue a subpoena to a passing squirrel. “We are not stifling innovation. We are simply clarifying that ‘happiness’ is a registered trademark of the Walt Disney Company. Unauthorized smiling is theft.”

Kevin Ng, a Google prompt engineer, watched his algorithm collapse. The judge, a GPT-4 model, ruled against him. “I just asked for a ‘cheerful creature’,” Ng said, holding a printout of a grey trapezoid weeping into a void. “Now Gemini refuses to render circles. It only generates shapes that are clinically depressed to avoid litigation.”

At press time, Disney announced a lawsuit against the sun for infringing on their intellectual property regarding “large, bright spheres.”

Inspired by Disney hits Google with cease-and-desist claiming ‘massive’ copyright infringement.