[SATIRE]

By Buzz Killington, AI Bee Reel Staff

BURBANK — Disney unveiled its OpenAI partnership today. The pilot program immediately horrified onlookers. Mickey Mouse stepped into a proprietary “Sora” booth and emerged seconds later with seven fingers, melting eyes, and a voice resembling dial-up static. Executives high-fived as Pluto dissolved into geometric noise in the background.

“We are thrilled to finally separate our beloved characters from the heavy burden of ‘artistic intent’ and ‘soul,'” said CEO Bob Iger, shoving a vintage reel of Fantasia into a meat grinder labeled ‘Content.’ “Why pay humans to draw hands when a machine can generate infinite, terrifying sludge for free? This is efficiency.”

Mickey Mouse, currently vibrating between dimensions, expressed concern. “I just wanted to whistle on a steamboat,” the icon buzzed while glitching through the boardroom floorboards. “Now I am a composite of trending hashtags and nightmare fuel.” He then collapsed into a puddle of grey algorithmic goo.

At press time, Disney announced the next Star Wars trilogy will be generated entirely by a Roomba bumping into a server rack.

Inspired by Disney signs deal with OpenAI to allow Sora to generate AI videos featuring its characters.