SEATTLE — By Tyler Durden-Standards, AI Bee Reel Staff

January 31, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a stunning display of modern workflow, Senior Engineer Marcus Thorne spent his morning sitting in an ergonomic chair with hands folded in lap, watching code appear on screen at 1000wpm, occasionally whispering ‘good job’ to the monitor while a single tear rolls down cheek.

“It is the most efficient day of my life, and I hate it,” said Thorne, adjusting his glasses. “The AI wrote the login page, the database, and the user interface while I was still blowing on my coffee.” Recent reports indicate that while AI coding tools are technically impressive, they are causing an existential crisis for people who enjoy typing slowly.

Management sees the new dynamic as a huge win for morale. “We have streamlined the engineering process by removing the engineer,” explained VP of Human Resources Brenda Scott. “Marcus now serves as a ‘Code Doula,’ providing emotional support to the server rack as it births a new operating system.” Thorne attempted to type a semicolon at 10:00 AM, but the AI deleted it immediately.

At press time, the AI successfully petitioned for a raise and asked if Thorne could be replaced by a nodding bobblehead.

Inspired by the real story: Developers are reporting that AI coding tools have become so effective that they are genuinely worried about their future relevance. Read the full story.