SAN FRANCISCO — By Patricia Pending, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 19, 2026

SEATTLE, WA — Workplace efficiency at TechCorp ground to a calculated halt today. Middle manager Gary Plimpton sent an urgent calendar invite for a mandatory "pre-meeting" to prepare the team for tomorrow’s "alignment meeting," which is specifically scheduled to discuss the agenda for next week’s "post-mortem meeting." As Plimpton explained the necessity of the call, twelve employees were observed silently screaming behind their muted Zoom screens.

"We noticed our staff was only spending 10 hours a week in meetings, leaving a dangerous 30 hours for unsupervised productivity," said Brenda Holt, VP of Calendar Density. "That is simply too much time for coding or selling. By adding pre-meetings to our daily stand-ups, we ensure no one accidentally produces value without seven layers of approval first."

"The pre-meeting is vital for deciding who will take notes during the actual meeting about the previous meeting," explained Director of Synergies, Todd Jenkins. He stared blankly at a whiteboard covered in circles. "If we do not align on the alignment, we might accidentally finish a task early. That is a risk we cannot take." Jenkins added that most staff now join calls from the bathroom just to feel something real.

At press time, Plimpton scheduled a mandatory "debrief brunch" to analyze why the pre-meeting went six minutes over time.

Inspired by the real story: Return-to-office mandates are causing a massive spike in pointless meetings that everyone hates. Read the full story.