“Our system fixes health by simply changing the definition of being alive,” said Marcus Chen, VP of Digital Wellness. “It sometimes invents organs you don’t have, but that shows it is thinking outside the box.” While experts worry about data privacy, the real issue is the AI confidently making things up to keep the chat going.

“We reduced wait times to zero by telling everyone they are fine,” explained Dr. Elena Rossi, Chief Efficiency Officer. “If the app says your broken leg is a ‘lifestyle choice,’ you should respect its authority.” Patients are reportedly nodding politely at their phones while their limbs dangle at odd angles, hoping the premium subscription offers a better diagnosis.

At press time, the iPad billed the patient $4,000 for a “digital placebo” and suggested hallucinating the payment too.

Inspired by the real story: While ChatGPT offers personalized health tips, experts warn its tendency to ‘hallucinate’ facts makes it risky for medical advice. Read the full story.