“We view this financial ruin as a commitment to creativity,” said VP of Engineering Mark Olson, keeping a straight face while stepping over the paper trail. “Our logs show users asked ‘What is your return policy?’ and ‘How do I return this?’ five thousand times. Naturally, we paid for the AI to write a unique, expensive essay for every single person. It keeps the robots sharp.”

“Fixing the code sounded like a lot of typing,” explained Director of Sales Lisa Chang. “So we are just passing the cost to the customer.” Instead of optimizing the software, the company has hired three interns to stand by the server rack and scream “It’s on the website!” at the monitor. Meanwhile, employees in the parking lot were seen using the invoice as a makeshift crosswalk to get to their cars.

At press time, the invoice had reached the interstate, forcing the CFO to pay an extra toll fee just to read the total due.

Inspired by the real story: Query logs revealed that AI bills were spiking 30% because users asked the same questions in slightly different ways, triggering full costs for every answer. Read the full story.