NEW YORK — By Joseph Martinez, AI Bee Reel Staff

January 16, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — in a bold move to modernize firing people, TechCorp CEO Brad Jenkins was seen walking through the office wearing a cardboard box and foil antennae today. Jenkins performed a stiff, rhythmic ‘robot dance’ while handing out pink slips, speaking in a flat monotone voice to avoid taking personal responsibility for the budget cuts.

“This new method helps us stop feeling sad,” said VP of Human Resources Linda Chang, carefully fixing a piece of loose duct tape on the CEO’s arm. “By letting a cold, unfeeling robot fire everyone, we do not have to look them in the eye or explain why we overhired last year.” A recent report warns that employees are highly skeptical that AI is the actual reason behind mass layoffs, but management insists the cardboard costume proves it is out of their hands.

“I am just following the code,” stated Jenkins, pausing his robot voice to sip a latte through a hole in the box. “The computer logic says I need a bigger bonus, so you must go. Beep boop.” One fired worker simply nodded slowly while the CEO made loud dial-up internet noises near the coffee machine.

At press time, the ‘robot’ malfunctioned and accidentally promoted the janitor to CFO after bumping into a water cooler.

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